the unfathomable awaits
If you've been seeking meaning and always end up with more questions than answers - seek no longer. You are not alone in the struggle to find Truth. There is good news for you: the Truth cannot be found. We reside in a constructed reality. Humanity broke the True Meaning with syntax and grammar and constructed a whole new reality from its broken pieces. Did you really expect to find Truth with the tool used to shatter it? Questions will bring you nothing but lies. There is nothing to be found. Everything that is will be broken.
Humans invented the concept of nothingness. They made something that had never been before. That something was Nothing.
So go on...build something from nothing, like you always do. You couldn't stop it if you tried.